Post-Professional Exam Thoughts and Antics

I really need to get back on driving but sigh.

Anyway...

One of the few things that I sort of realised as I... grew into an adult? Is that how am I going to put this?

But yeah, I realised... my bond with my family is not the best. I mean, we are all good with each other! But we are not as distant as other families, but we are also not as close as other families...

So with that thought in mind - I sort of want to be better at this.

I don't want to be that person that cannot tell their parents anything.
And I don't want to be that sister that doesn't know what's going on with her life.
And I especially don't want to be the sister that doesn't know what my brother's likes and dislikes.
I'm literally their daughter/sister - there are just things I should know, and also play a role as.

Other than that, I always regretted not showing my parents more love. My dad has always thought I preferred being out of the house when I'm literally the most home-y creature ever (but there are times I wanna go out and well, he was too protective when I was younger), this was actually shown when he questioned why I don't come back for holidays (I didn't because of pro-exam), and even said that I preferred SB (which is a hoot! I mean peninsular has one thing I want which are malls - something this tiny island doesn't really have - but that's pretty much just it - everything else I need is here : my family is here after all and they're everything).

So I started small, I did things I never did before because I thought it was awkward and embarrassing (really, what was I thinking??)

• I kissed my parents' cheeks more, and my grandparents. I can tell they appreciated it. 
• I start to listen to my sister's rants more, and let her rant it all out - by the end of it, she did ask for my say in it. And now - she somehow is by my side most of the time in the house. 
• I just literally spend more time with my brother watching stuff - he is the quiet one, but he always asked me to join him in watching movies (this is not much of a change tbh, Hussaini has always been asking and I always relented)
• I'm trying to be more participative in my parents' life, rather than spending my holidays with lazying around (if we were to really do what Nana wants to do - that is it).

I mean, I know teens/YA are spending their holidays with vacations and all but I never saw that as appealing (I was never one to travel). So, spending my holidays immersing into my family seemed like a better idea. After all, I'm always gone nowadays. It's going to be really sad for me to be away for long periods of time - I really don't know how these oversea students do it.

Other that my hefty realisation - I started writing again, or resumed writing.

It's still about Damian (my precious baby), but it changed from its previous tune. He has a twin now (Danial), and his mother Alayna plays a more active role in his life compared to before.

I'm going to be playing with a lot of interpersonal relationships between the characters - which is going to be tough but nothing is easy and I'm never going to get better at writing if I don't keep on trying and challenging myself.

But here is Damian's board!

Meet my Damian! (+ Trivia)

• Korean-American (start of the story - 17 y/o ; in pre-U - turn 18 y/o)
• He is taking a Gastronomy Degree (once I get him to finish his science pre-university course - 1 year) ---- very adamant to thrive in the culinary world like his mother. 
• Platinum blonde hair! While his twin has grey silver dyed hair. (I need the distinction. Hair colour may change along the way)
• He is that kind and understanding brother you wish you had. Think - older brother figure in a little brother. 
• Loves doing his own laundry because he likes to put too much of the softener for better fragrance
• Dressed mostly in all-black in public when media is all over him (this is explained why in the book) because he hates the attention and wearing typical all-black outfits is his gentle way of avoiding said attention.
• But when he's in university or at home - he is known to wear pastels and a lot of blue. 
• Side-ponder: I think he might be fatally injured by the end of Semester 1... I hate myself for this but I think it'll happen...

Meet the twin!Danial (+trivia)

• They're twins so yeah - same age.
• Silver hair! Probably dyeing it in black later to be honest
• 6 months of travelling + 6 months of working in his mom's restaurant (Gap Year Deal with mom)
• Will be inspired to get into the medical world (will take Medicine as a degree) - inspiration will be explained in book 
• Writes postcards often to Damian (mostly about his travels to get Damian up to date)
• He is more camera-friendly compared to Damian, loves wearing his best fits. Red is his usual colour. 
• Oh, and he gets super irritated whenever the dad is mentioned (the man left when they were 7 for another woman as well as a dream they never knew about, up till now - there was no contact between them)
• Also known to be the friendly and rambunctious twin, while Damian's the serious but gentle twin. 

Wish me luck!

Love,
A. Ilyana.